Using parenting skills for myself and others

I have been exposed to a few parenting podcasts and talks.

A few years ago, a friend mentioned that I am not childless. I am childfree. I am sometimes seen as “broken” not having any children. Despite that it is not unusual these days. However judgement is present, or at least I perceive there is such expectation that I “should have” children.

I often listen to friends and family, their stories about parenthood, the happy moments with their children and challenges being mothers and fathers. Besides that, I am somehow exposed to ideas of the “how to” of parenthood. If there is such a thing.

Some characteristics of those stories

  • It is a mega tough job to be a mum and a dad.
  • Parents try their hardest to fix routines, meals, kids’ behaviour, day-in and day-out.
  • Young human is as complex, if not more, compare to the adult version.
  • Emotions explode spectacularly and sometimes overwhelm the most resilient adults.

This collection below taught me

  • to create a safe space to show emotions, for myself and others
  • to create a space free of judgement when one is flawed
  • to listen to a one’s story, the good, the bad and the ugly
  • to convince everyone life is worth living fully in spite of adversity
  • to turn the spot light on my denial, my judgment on myself, the conditioning I received
  • to remember to just be with my inner self
  • to give everyone the permission to just be themselves
  • to remember to play and let go of rushing towards perfection, buzy-ness and achievement

I love using all these lessons, whether I have childfree or not. I think these resources are good teachers here and for me a good shortcut. They showed me I can choose to let go the old habits and take the invitation to raise my consciousness to learn about myself.

To let go the vicious cycle of, lacking, diving into anxiety then grab control like a lifebelt. Then repeat with a tighter fist.

Learn from the children and the people around me to live from one moment to another.

Pause, be grounded and enter the emotional space with the person (a kid or otherwise) without imposing my own agenda.

How have you been being present for yourself and others?

The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.