Letting go of unsupportive relationships

Denise Tham
2 min readAug 6, 2023


Photo by Luke Porter on Unsplash

This is part of the Letting Go series — part 4

Read Part 1 — Letting stuff go

Read Part 2 — Say Bye to limiting thoughts

Read Part 3- Letting go of unsupportive habits — 2min read

We all have them, those harmful relationships with people around us.

I have a strong tendency to collect events how people don’t notice me e.g. “Oh, ok, I don’t exist so that is why he/she did that”.

I also have a strong conviction that my past failures will forever harm how others view me. From friendships to work, this way of relating to failures or mistake stops me from progressing forward.

Let’s break it down.

Round 1: I write them down: what, how , why — these relationships affect me in the past, at the present and what it can cost me in the future.

Round 2: state how I contributed to those relationships, intentionally and unintentionally. Stop putting myself as the victim. Victims get walked all over by Victors (I would appreciate it if you send me the link where this quote came from).

Round 3: Give a gentle reminder to myself, daily, that what I can take responsibility for — taking lessons from round 1. Not blaming myself. But take stock and be responsible for how I want contribute to any relationship, right now.

We all only have now to let go and create those relationships, with our family, friends, colleagues, neighbours. Blow a kiss to harmful relationships. Visualise they are merely black butterflies flying away into the skies and turning into rainbow butterflies.

I accept that my mind is pretty darn good at making stuff up . I accept this process can be brutal — yet gentleness can be in the same space when I let go of unsupportive relationships.